My Thoughts: Pornography and Marriage, Part 1

I am listening to a podcast called Thirty Minutes with the Perry’s and I want to comment on the parts that bless me as I listen to these podcasts so we can have conversations in the comments below and pray for each other.

The first thing I want to talk about is where they talk about being as vulnerable as they are in the podcast. I am vulnerable in my blogs and YouTube channel because I know that it will help others and I’m not afraid to shy away from the sins of my past that the Lord has freed me from so that it can help you, the reader or listener.

The next part was where Jacki asked Preston what led him to porn (not in a judgmental way but for the people’s hearing and so we can relate). I want to ask us: What led you to the sin that you are committing right now that you know is wrong and the Lord has convicted you of? I want to reflect publically on this for my own sake because in Psalm 32, David talks about when he has hid his sin and how horrible he was, but when he brought it into the light, he was freed. James 5 says that we ought to confess to one another how we have sinned so that we might be healed. So, let’s do that.

Mine is gluttony, laziness, and procrastination. These are the ones that I can think of right now.

This is no excuse, but first of all, it is something that we do in my family. When I grew up, we’d eat until we were full (there are very few who to this day try to eat healthy from my point of view). When you don’t know how to eat healthy, this is what you do. However, I’ve also noticed that sometimes when I’m sad, I resort to eatting food. I want a snack of some kind.

I think the root of this sin plus laziness and procrastination now that I’m thinking of it is self-control, which is one of the fruits of the Spirit. My family thinks that I have it in at least one area. This is true but it is easy. It is easy for me to study or listen to teachings from the Word because there is nothing I’d rather be doing. I don’t see myself taking a break from it. I at times get bord of reading the Word but I still listen to teachings. You may say, “That’s good, right?” but the reality is that nothing compares to the Bible and its pure form that you can get ahold of (Psalms 119; 2 Timothy 3:16).

So in some instances I don’t even have self-control in this area because I’m only doing what I want to do and not what the Spirit of the Lord instructs.

Come to think of it, I think I need to re-examine the fruits of the Spirit and ask the Lord to help me with ones I am not exhibiting. I think this is the root of most of the sins that I commit. I heard from RZIM yesterday that one of the people they met looks at and meditates each day on these fruits.

A Reflection On The Fruits of the Spirit

“But the fruit produced by the Holy Spirit within you is divine love in all its varied expressions.” (Galatians 5:22-23a, tpt). The Passion Translation puts these two verses together as one thought so that’s why I wrote it like that (I’m only doing the best I know to do). Let’s look as briefly as we can at 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter. I won’t be able to write out the verses for the sake of time and space, but I will try and list the ones I need help on and you can also reflect on the chapter as a whole for your own heart-examination with the Spirit:

There are some aspects of the love chapter that I could improve on, but in verse 5 it says that love doesn’t traffic in shame or disrespect. It doesn’t seek its own honor and is not easily offended. The part I need to work on more for myself is the “trafficking in shame,” and I need to work against the evils of legalism. Sometimes, if I’m not seeking God the way I should, I feel guilty instead of just saying, “Sorry, Lord. I missed today’s meeting but please help me to pick up tomorrow.” I learned this in part one of the Pursuit series from Fresh Start Church. I don’t remember the exact wording that they used, but here is Pursuit, Part 1 by Fresh Start Church for your consumption.

I think relationship must be caught, not taught because it is easy to learn head-knowledge about relationship with God but hard to apply it. That is why we need the grace of God, whose primary purpose is to empower us to do that which we couldn’t otherwise do. Think about it: You need God’s grace to live the life He has called you to live, even down to the detail of relationship with Him. Powerful, right?

Next, “joy that overflows,” (Galatians 5:22-23b, TPT). Most of the time, I say, “This is the best day ever,” with the exception of very rare amounts of time where I am saddened by whatever is going on at the time. Usually, those times are things where I’ve allowed my mind to spin out of control. As of now this only happens when I have a really bad headache that I cannot get rid of. I then give into fear because I took my medicine and I’m afraid of getting kidney failure (I am not your typical person who has one every once in a while).

It is concern which the devil through my help (and I don’t know how to control it) has spiraled into fear, and 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of love, power and of a sound mind.”

I attribute this fear to when I listened to scary stories or haunted house shows. I didn’t think it bothered me at that time, but I’d continually imagine whatever it was happening (I can’t remember what it was), and I would run. When I was little, I made up this character called a Marbleble. I tried to voice to my Uncle what it was I was scared of and he said, “A marble?” He didn’t understand. It’s amazing the thing swe imagine when we’re kids. Some of it is demons (see Isaiah Saldivar’s YouTube channel) caused by shows you watch and some may be downright imaginary.

The next fruit is “peace that subdues.” In some sense, I do have that, but like I mentioned previously, I get concerned about some things (which that is a good thing) but then that spirals into worry and then fear. It’s okay to be concerned about something but not to turn that into worry or fear. However, the Lord knows our frailties and won’t beat us up for doing these things. If we come to Him (1 Peter 5:7) with these worries, He will help us. We all know this, yet we worry about things. Philippians says that we ought to come to Him in suplication about everything in thanksgiving but then the peace of God that transcends our human understanding will make answers known to us through Jesus Christ (Philippians 6:7), and then goes on to tell us of all the things we ought to think on. I myself am not where I should be in my relationship with the Lord, and I believe this is why it is so hard for me to do this. If we had an intimate relationship with the Lord to the point where no matter what would happen (this is my hypothesis), we would bring our worries, fears, and stress to the Lord and not have to worry about anything. However, I’m sure there may even be times where we would forget then because we are imperfect human beings, but we can do as best as we can with God’s help.

Our next fruit is found in Galatians 5:22-23c, TPT). It is “patience that endures.” I am at times impatient with God in certain things. I do things like instead of wanting to sit and pray, asking God what He wants me to do, I’m afraid I’ll have to wake up earlier or go to bed earlier so I can be up early enough to be able to wait on Him for the answer because it would take a very long time.

Just recently, I have been door dashing with my sister, but instead of asking the Lord what He wanted to do in this time, I just listened to podcasts from RZIM and started pursuing appologetics and learning about that. The Lord may not have told me to do that but I wouldn’t have known because I didn’t truly seek Him.

Our next fruit is “kindness in action, a life full of virtue,” (Galatians 5:22-23d, TPT).

Sometimes, when Grandpa asks certain questions in our conversations, I get frustrated. This shows that there is a measure of kindness that I need to be able to embody that I haven’t yet asked for from the Lord to help me to exude. James (Jacob) 3:17-18, TPT says, “But the wisdom from above is always pure, filled with peace, considerate and teachable. It is filled with love and never displays prejudice or hypocrisy in any form and it always bears the beautiful harvest of righteousness! Good seeds of wisdom’s fruit will be planted with acts by those who cherish making peace.” I try to avoid hypocrisy in the sense that I am very very very very vulnerable about my weaknesses. I ask for your prayers if anyone reading this happens to think I do (just to be safe because I preach one thing but it seems that I am acting totalky opposite, which is why I am transparent so you know I’m not preaching at you but to us).

Our next fruit is “faith that prevails,” and like I said, I think at times I do get impatient with the Lord concerning certain prayers. I even sometimes expect things to happen at a certain time but they don’t. I never get disappointed because I know our Lord knows everything we need and perhaps my prayers were not the will of the Lord at that time.

The next fruit is, “gentleness of heart, and strength of spirit.” This concludes Galatians 5:22 of the compilation of the two verses in The Passion Translation. It continues, “Never set the law above these qualities, for they are meant to be limitless.” (Galatians 5:22-23).

“The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness. But who can bear a broken spirit? (Proverbs 18:14, NKJV).

I do not have a strong spirit. I may have faith in some ways that prevails but my spirit cannot sustain me in adversity. Like I said earlier, I let my mind spiral out of control when I have a bad headache. This is the end of this blog, as it seems to be pretty long.

It turns out, some of the things preached on today’s sermon happened to be the very things we discussed on this blog:

Also, the podcast I am referring to can be found here. God bless!

By Patelin Cogswell

My name is Patelin Cogswell. I was born on September 24, 1998. I was born in Oklahoma City. I went to Oklahoma School for the Blind and graduated in 2017. I am called as a Minister of the Gospel and an Intercessor. However, this is not about me. My life is dedicated to making Christ alone. This blog was called because I didn’t want my name on the blog like others do because I feel like it is not me living but Christ living through me.

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