Tests and Trials

Introduction

Helloo again, my friend! Today, I would like to speak to you about what the Lord has been honing in on pertaining to my life. Perhaps, as the Lord speaks to me, my experience can help you. Today’s topic is about complaining. I was going to do this in the form of a video, but was very unsuccessful–the last one I made you could mainly see my nose, so I’ve decided to just write it out in the form of a blog.

Childhood

Now, I’d like to tell you a background story. I have always had anxiety. My family has anxiety in our genes–or at least, so it seems! I as a little child growing up was not in a very peaceful household. I will not go into the details as to what went on, but nonetheless, I was always anxious. In fact, at one point in time (I don’t know when), I developped the habit of scratching–not just scratching like you would if you itched, but gouging holes in my skin. It was developed through the years of anxiety. I catch myself, but still find that I do the habit. What no one told me then (and I probably wouldn’t have listened if they had because the Father hadn’t been working on my heart about that in my childhood) was that anxiety and complaining have the same cure. That cure is thankfulness. The Word says in Philippians that we ought to be anxious for nothing, but in everything with prayer and suppication with giving, make our request known to God, etc. This is why I am doing this blog. Maybe, you are someone who is anxious all the time and you don’t know how to get over it. Also, in my school years, I started getting headaches. When I was a day student at School for the Blind, they’d just send me home when I had a headache. I had experienced a few tests and trials in school, but I never (at least at our recollection) actually complained.

Graduation and Onward

Now, let’s fast forward to my graduation. After graduation, I still had headaches. I forgot to mention that at school, I read a little bit of the Word, but was more into the Word after graduation due to more time. Don’t be fooled! When you start studying the Word and every day and doing all that our Lord instructs, you will have a fight on your hands from the enemy. The enemy wants nothing but destruction for you (John 10:10′. So, I read the Word but had the same problems as before with another one added: I started to complain! Grandma when we went to the doctor would always say, “Patelin rarely complains!” But complaining is just as bad as any addiction. They say that if you just take that one drink (or whatever) then that spirals out of control into you going back to ways; therefore, they recommend when in recovery to stay away until you are strong enough to not go back. You get the picture. Beloved, if you let that one seed that the enemy puts into your heart germinate, it will take over.

The Present

Now, as you know through my prayer request a little bit ago, I have Gallstones. I have let that seed of complaint germinate into my heart and I have always found plenty of reasons to be ungrateful: “Man! My back hurts so bad–that’s all I can think about. I’m trying to stop!” Or, “This food caused my stomach to hurt!” lord, I’m so tired of this pain . . . if You don’t do something, I’ll have Grandma call the doctor and have them take my gallbladder out!” Yes! Complaining outright against our Lord when He is trying to use this for His glory in my life and trying to get me to receive His free gift of healing that comes with salvation, i.e. the Greek word sozo (this word is so much more than just making it to heav). This is what the Lord has been in a sense speaking to me about. Also, I want to paraphrase another Scripture:

The Lord said, “Don’t even think about turning a deaf ear to Me when I speak to you! Don’t do what your ancestors did at Meribah and Massah when they argued with their creator.” (Psalms 95:7–8, paraphrased). He despises complaining. He, in a loving way, was trying to get me to STOP! I am imploring especially you who have had very little experience with tests and trials:

If you don’t want to make the enemy happy . . . If you don’t want to break the heart of our Lord . . . if you don’t want to let the seed of complaint germinate in your hearts like I did . . . then start now by making a gratitude journal. I have done so for a few days now (I still forget some days). It works. Remember when I posted on here the sermon we had listened to called The Cure For Complaining from Life.Church? That Sunday, I was proud. I thought, “I don’t need to do a gratitude journal. I’m thankful!” I was very wrong. I started doing the journal, and now, every time I feel like I should complain because of how bad my stomach or back hurts, I think of our brothers and sisters in Christ or even our Lord Himself who has had to endure much worse than I have. Of course, when our Lord Jesus took the scourging and died on the Cross, He did it with joy set before Him. He was taking our death upon Himself, so that we could take His life upon ourselves. However, I know that the pain He had to endure had to be excruciating. If I were Him, (call me sissy), I would probably have either cried, or called those legions of angels down, saying, “I can’t endure this much longer!”

Thankfully, I’m not Jesus. Also, remember when I put a post on here about a book concerning COVID-19? That book was one of the things that made me more thankful concerning the gallstones. I will still seek God’s healing; for that is His heart. But right now, He’s teaching me to be thankful in the midst of the storm. God bless!